The settings for our program was ideal. We were allocated a cosy house where trainers came to us: Mika received ten hours of 1:1 per day in her playroom while we learned new strategies, unfolded negative beliefs about ourselves and observed Mika with different set of eyes. We came home with hundred new ideas for play, new strategies and a renewed sense of purpose in our program.
You may be wanting to read about tangible changes from the program? Here, I will offer the main one today!
If you know Mika at all, you know how easy going she appears. Since we started our home program, she started to affirm her wants and need for control more clearly...but we weren't always responding to her! It's amazing what this intensive week offered her as everyone playing with her totally responded and honored her "no" and her "shh, be quiet", "I don't want to" etc. She has gained a stronger sense of self and shows more determination at getting what she wants. She is also using more spontaneous words on an on-going basis. Did you know that although she loves food and often shows hunger, she yelled at us her first ever "I'M HUNGRY!" one early morning, last week, when she was frustrated by toileting? I never ran so fast to fetch a banana!!
One must know that in the SonRise approach, we costomized our play-room to make it Mika friendly by leaving the walls bare of visual stimulations, rising the toys she likes on shelves higher-up and making ourselves user-friendly and super fun 100% of the time! There are no dangers or limits we need to impose her in there. Why would she be saying "no" one might ask?! She says "no" to going to the toilet, "no" the participating in a fun game we made up, "no" to reading a book of my choice and then "shhh, be quiet "when I give her the book she wants. I had no idea that she was asking for more control and often letting us know that what she needs is to find her zen again by doing her repetitive behaviors exclusively, sometimes involving us but mainly focusing on her "thing". We also found that by showing her what "shh, be quiet means by hiding our mouths, and really going quiet, instead of playing with the variations on the loud/quiet theme or plainly ignoring her, we honor and respect her words and teach her the meaning of the words by showing her they have power.
Finally, I discovered the art of effectively leading by not questioning myself. I used to say: "let's do this awesome activity, ok?". I now present my awesome suggestions and go with it unless she tells me otherwise! I also practice being present so I can honor her answers and respond to them appropriately: for example "no" means no! We were sometimes on our own schedule and refused her the little bit of control she has in her life. By giving her more control, she has blossomed!